“Goal setting does NOT require Courage...”

 

Living your Dream, DOES.

 

You are in hot pursuit of goals you set a few months ago. True to form you are on track of reaching your goals, yet are still not living your dream.

 

Goals are logical. You determine what you want, systematically calculate what it will take to reach those goals, plot your chart, take the appropriate actions and then reach your goals. You declare success.

 

Your dream however is not logical. It is a huge vision for your life. When you recognize it, it will take your breath away. Your dream is so big it scares you to even look at it, to admit that it is yours. Most have been aware of such a dream yet quickly felt overwhelmed by its enormity. Fear of failure, ridicule from friends and family, or looking foolish for having such a big dream you probably dismissed and hid it from your own awareness.

 

A woman can reach many goals, live a successful life and still not live her dream. We are giving a tiny sliver of time for this life and as none of us know how long our own life is, it is crucial to live without regrets. It takes courage to live your dream.

 

My father was a successful businessman. At age 63 he was lying on his deathbed. One day, sitting with him, I ask him: “Dad if you could turn back time what would you do differently”? While he contemplated my question, I thought about his potential answers. Maybe he wished that he had spent more time with his children, especially me, his only daughter. Maybe he would have liked to travel more…

 

How would you answer the same question?

 

After what seemed like a very long time, my dad finally answered.

“Everything”. Taken aback and surprised by his reply, I felt dismayed by the sadness of his response, and asked him to explain.

 

“Renate, I never believed in myself. I was so afraid to take a risk. I never thought I was good enough. I sold out. I never lived my dream”.

 

My father presented the greatest gift to me that day. It took me a few years to realize this and I doubt he knew the impact his statements would have in my life. My father reached his goals, was considered a success, allowed his family to live a comfortable life style and yet he looked at his own life as having been wasted. A life filled with regret and sorrow is as though we had never lived at all. To paraphrase an old wisdom:  “A woman without a dream will perish”.

 

Look inside, listen to the whispers of your soul and wait for the dream to show itself to you. See it, feel it, embrace it, own it and hold on tight. Courageously step up and live your dream. Change your world for the better. Live with joy, enthusiasm and passion. Leave a legacy, not regrets. Namaste

"What you do speaks so loudly"!

 

I cannot hear what you are saying.

Some may feel free to offer you advice as to how you should conduct your business or manage your live. Unsolicited advice does not fall onto fertile ground, as it arrives unexpected and sudden. You may even see it as an attack on your own capabilities.

 

Have you noticed that unsolicited advice often comes from those who know the answers, yet do not practice the wisdom they are preaching in their own affairs? Do you place a high value on unsolicited advice? I know that I don’t, though I pride myself on keeping an open mind. Intuitively, you know who actually walks their talk. Those who do take pains in getting permission to ‘coach’ you in a specific area where they may have noticed you are faced with challenges.

 

As a business mentor, I had to learn this hard lesson.

• Advice given when not asked for has no value to the recipient.
• Timing is everything and sometimes the time is ‘not now’.
• Asking for permission to share insights is crucial.

 

I care deeply about people’s well-being, I had to accept the fact that not everyone is ready or willing to hear my ‘wisdom’. Now, I ask people: “I have noticed an area in your business that seems to be challenging to you. Would you like some coaching in this area? Most people are eager to hear another person’s point of view and graciously invite my feedback, as they know that I do walk my talk. Some, however, have said: “Right now is not a good time. Could I call you when I am ready to hear the information”? Wow, that is powerful.

 

When advice is offered by someone you respect, who is living proof of using the principles themselves, you are:

·         more open to accepting the information.

·         you would be appreciative of their caring

·         willing to implement some of the suggestions.

 

You may not be able to stop a kind soul for offering unsolicited advice to you, yet you can make certain not to fall into the trap of caring too much, yet end up hurting somebody in the process of giving sound but unsolicited advice.

 

If you know it or are unaware, you are being watched in all you do. Your friends, associates, and families are watching you. They are building points of reference about you. Designing a framework for who you really are, what you really stand for and believe in, and how you live your life. All you do and say is measured against those reference points. In the end, this is true, what you say does not speak as loudly as what you do, day in and out. When you say one thing, yet do another, those around you will pick up on the hypocrisy, very quickly. Therefore, be the living proof for the powerful advice you have for others – walk your talk proudly, without fail.

 

 

"May I be of Service"?

 

In days gone by, being of service and providing the consumer superior products was the basis of good business. We then slipped into receiving great customer service at the point of sale, yet did not feel the need to build a relationship with our suppliers. In the hay days of the 80’s marketing involved competing on price, availability and delivery. This did not leave much time for building relationships, which would bring an expectation of loyalty. When competition is fierce, who has time for loyalty?

 

It used to be; we could pick up the phone and spoke to a person about concerns with a product purchased or service received. When was the last time that you actually spoke with a real person, right away? Usually, we make our way through an ever-increasing list of options, from pressing one through eight on our touch-tone, sounding out the request, before finally as a last resort we are connected with a person.

 

No surprise, many consumers feel frustrated and powerless when voicing concerns. Frustration and cynicism is not a good way to build good customer relations. Companies continue the process, because it is cost effective and the consumers have no choice but to accept this way of doing business. Or do they?

 

Consumers we are re-discovering some of the charm of days gone by:

Ø         They remember that building relationships works

Ø         They like being appreciated when making purchases

Ø         They are remembering that they have power

 

We all are at the groundswell of something big. A change is coming. People want great customer service again, they want to be heard and appreciated by the business community.

 

As business owners, we know that, without the customer we have no business. We know that:

Ø         Customer loyalty adds significantly to our profit margin

Ø         Listening to our clients helps us become more efficient

Ø         Living up to our promises will be rewarded

 

Great customer service is not only how well we are servicing our clients at the point of sale, but also how well we look after them when things turn sour. Herein lies the big change, the massive opportunity, the chance to put the phrase: “May I be of service”, back into everyday conversation. Your willingness to state openly your company’s commitment to customer service will set you apart from the competition’.

 

Some ideas:

 

Ø         Invite your customers to give you testimonials via regular or email

Ø         Set up a company blog and encourage clients to “talk” with you, directly

Ø         Or ad the “Shopaware” icon to your website and encourage each customer to share their experience with your company online

Ø         Respond to all comments, especially negative ones, immediately and resolve them quickly

 

Today’s consumer is hungry for the charms of days gone by. A business owner willing to feed that need, is sure to reap loyalty and free advertising in form of word of mouth. Empower your customers, and ask often: “May I be of service”?

"Finding Joy in the Mirror"!

 

Looking into the mirror every morning what do you see, feel and think about?

• Do you see a successful business woman and do you like her?
• Do you feel confident about yourself in your personal and business life?
• Do you think about each new day as an opportunity to experience more joy and happiness?

The Dali Lama has said that the purpose of the human existence is the achievement of happiness. In our western societies we tend to tie happiness to financial successes, business accomplishments and the quality of our personal and business relationships. However, this combination often leads to frustration and stress. When we think we deserve to be happy only when we have achieved our financial goals, accomplished business successes and enjoy loving and rewarding relationships, we are setting ourselves up to not being able to ‘Finding Joy in the Mirror’. Who indeed could ever claim to have achieved it all, based on those guidelines, alone?

 

How then can we experience that delicious feeling of Joy and Happiness, while racing through our busy lives, chasing the elusive dream of what society says is success?

It is crucial to realize what is important to us, in a very personal sense, rather than buying into the collective, societal notion of material success as the foundation for a happy life experience. ‘Know Thyself’ reminds us to honestly identify, and become aware of what it is that we as individuals truly value in our lives. Many of our society’s greatest ills, some form of depression and loss of self-esteem can be traced back to ‘selling out’ to not being aware of who we really are. Knowing what really motivates us, empowers each individual to get a grip on their life and experience the happiness the Dali Lama spoke about.

 

How well do you know yourself? What really is important to you? What do you value above all else? Do you know what your own personal core values are?

Some Core Values:

 

• Honesty
• Commitment
• Integrity
• Morality
• Professionalism
• Excitement
• Knowledge
• Fairness
• Passion
• Loyalty
• Etc.

 

Of course, there are many more and only you know which ones are important to you. Every person we meet has their own set of core values, different from our own set; neither is wrong, just different in character and in order of importance. Identify, what is important to you, personally. List your core values in order of importance, and then pick your top three. Out of those three, determine the one you would not do without. No matter what, if all else should fail, this is the one core value, where you would have to draw the line. If somebody crossed that line and violated your top core value, you would feel personally offended and deeply hurt. Though you might not even be consciously aware of this in these terms, you would feel uncomfortable and uneasy to say the least.

 

Think about some of your more challenging relationships in your personal and business life. Can you see that the people you find most difficult to deal with might just have a set of core values that are different from your own? This realization alone can make it easier for us to continue otherwise challenging and frustrating relationships. Or you may now understand why in the past you allowed some long term relationships to drift away and evaporate. Intrinsically you sensed that their values offended your own core values, even if you were not consciously aware that this was taking place. Have you ever turned down a business opportunity because it did not feel or look right to you? Afterwards you probably chided yourself for making such a poor’ decision, allowing a profitable business arrangement to not be realized. Yet, your true self protected you from the harm that comes when we ignore our deep seated core values. Deciding on a profitable business transaction, while ignoring our own values requires an exuberate payment – loss of joy and happiness, the very thing we are yearning for in our life experience. How then, could we look in the mirror and see anything but conflict between who we really are and who we are pretending to be?

 

We may come to recognize, that our lives would be more harmonious if we looked for and associated with individuals who shared some of our top core values. Our business would become even more successful and enjoyable when we choose business deals based our personal core values. As they say: “Birds of a feather flock together”. This is not to suggest, we should only surround ourselves with others who are carbon copies of ourselves, yet ather look for similar values in our personal and business associations. This is the reason you enjoy reading this wonderful magazine, it’s message is in line with what you believe and value.

 

Prior to every decision ask yourself: “Is this in line with who I really am, with my core values”?

 

When our personal and business life is in alignment with our core values we experience less stress and frustration and enjoy a greater sense of harmony within ourselves. Inevitable this leads to a more positive and happier life experience in all areas of our lives. The choice is one each of us makes daily, first thing in the morning, in front of our own mirrors, either consciously or unaware, yet we do decide.

 

Abraham Lincoln has said, that ‘Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be’. Are you deciding each morning to be happy no matter what? When our actions, associations and beliefs about ourselves are aligned with our core values, it is simpler to ‘decide’ to be happy and then we truly get to experience “Joy in the Mirror”.

 

"Don’t Push the River"!

 

With passion and determination you are now pursuing the goals you have decided on for 2006.

You are following your plan of action. Putting in the time and effort necessary, working hard to accomplish your goals. Working towards goals and pursuing a vision is exciting and energizing, especially when things are coming together and you are moving forward. Are you making progress?

 

Or are you stuck, feeling frustrated and annoyed with your lack of progress? Fighting and struggling against the ever growing tide of challenges and adversities. If this is the case, most people ignore those warning signs. They diligently focus on what they set out to do, single mindedly striving towards their goals. Believing, that when things get tough, the though get going. So, they put their heads down and forge on. Execute, execute, just get it done, is their motto. Challenges and adversities are part of everyday life, that is a given. When faced with difficulties, we get tough and find a way to move around, over, under or through those obstacles and eventually we do get our prize, our goals.

 

However, when you find yourself treading water in the pursuit of your goals, when you are not moving forward, yet find yourself stuck or even slipping back, it is time to, STOP and REFLECT. You cannot push a river upstream. Remember, life is not stagnant; it is in a constant state of flux. Goals may be fixed, yet the path to reaching them has to be flexible. The best investment you can make in your business and your life is to take time out and focus on your vision, the big picture. How does what you want to accomplish fit into your life?

 

Reflect upon your goals. Make sure, that what you are trying to accomplish is in line with your highest values and your principles. When your goals fit those criteria, then they are within your reach. Brainstorm with like minded individuals and think outside the box. Write down and consider every idea, even the crazy and impossible ones. They can lead you to creative solutions. Questions are powerful tools to kick start the brain into creative problem solving. Ask yourself the following questions and write down the first answer that pops into your mind. I promise you, the results are amazing and offer helpful insights.

How else can I arrive at my goals? Who could complement what I am doing? What have I not done yet? What is it that comes easily to me? What other opportunities have I not yet considered? Who could help me and offer advice? What am I too scared, too shy or too embarrassed to try?

 

We cannot push a river upstream. We can float downstream with the river, feeling relaxed and in the zone. Still working diligently, putting in time and effort, but moving ahead at a nice pace.

When you are in the flow, you can feel it, the results are evident and your goals are in reach.

Get a Grip – don’t push the river, go with the flow.

"Just One More Time"!

 

“This is going to be a breakthrough year for my business”. A promise you made to yourself when you set your goals for 2006. A flash of insight reminds you that this is exactly what you said twelve months ago. The past year, however was not as successful as you hoped. Even though, you worked hard. You ran as fast as you could. You did all you could do, yet you felt as though you were stuck, not getting ahead, just treading water, simply surviving. What will be different this time around?

 

This time you will keep an open mind. You will change the way you think about yourself. You will go beyond the expectation of mere survival. You will allow yourself to exceed your own highest expectations. If what my mentor, Jon Lee Kootnekoff said is true “You generally get what you expect”, then you need to raise your expectations.

 

“Just one more time”, raise your expectations.

Ø         Lift up your head,

Ø         set your sight high,

Ø         expect more success then ever before,

Ø         hold onto your vision,

Ø         do the work.

 

Yes, I know you have tried this before and it never worked for you. It did not work for you, because most likely, you handed over control of this process to your powerful ego. Your ego’s job is to keep you out of harm’s way, protect you from danger, keep you safe. When you are on the path toward your now loftier goals the ego immediately becomes aware of the course change. Now, it is on heightened alert. When the first obstacle comes into your field of vision, the ego is paying attention. Any change from the usual norm signals danger and the ego get’s to work, immediately. It is creating elaborate stories about potential dangers that are lurking within those challenges. It quickly goes into high gear convincing your brain to infiltrate your mind with thoughts of caution, fear and dread. Thereby deflating the passion and energy, you have for your wonderful goals. Soon enough, you settle for what you know best – working hard, running fast, doing what you can, to get what you are comfortable with - in short - mere survival.

 

That is not an option for you, this time. You want to thrive in 2006. Prepare the ego for the upcoming changes in direction. Understand and respect the fact that the ego is doing a great job. Now you just need to convince it to work with you to accomplishing your lofty and worthy goals.

 

“Just one more time”, embrace your ego.

Ø         Acknowledge its purpose.

Ø         Be grateful for its assistance.

Ø         Picture your goals daily.

Ø         Claim each potential goal as already achieved.

Ø         Then allow the ego to get to work and make your dream come true.

 

“Just one more time”, trust yourself. Raise your expectations. Believe in yourself. Hold onto your dream; and your business will bless you with an enormous breakthrough in 2007.

 

"The Secret to Real Success"!

 

“Pssst I’ve got a secret. I will tell you if you promise not to tell”. As children most of us have said this to a best friend or had a friend share that with us. Who doesn’t want to be let in, on a secret? Secrets, like forbidden fruit are tempting and enticing. If we only knew the secret, then something magical could happen for us. Maybe we could find the shortcut to happiness, success and enjoy peace of mind.

 

“Pssst I’ve got a secret and WANT you to share it with everyone you know!”

“Get A GRIP” on Your Authentic Self! A Step-by-Step Guide to Personal Success. Everyday wisdoms are offered with a twist that works when we go through the process, as outlined in the book.

 

We live in a fast paced and technological age. Most of us are busier, experiencing more stress and anxiety today, than we would have imagined possible, even ten years ago. Chasing the elusive dream of a fabulous lifestyle has reduced us to purchasing lottery tickets on a weekly basis, encouraging our imagination to play the “what if” or the “imagine the freedom” game. We dream about the possibility of escaping from the rat race for only a few fleeting moments of fantasy followed by a crash back into the harsh reality of our own lives once the winning numbers have been announced.

 

Society is so focused on better and faster technology, specialized skills, better education, striving for more success and material possessions. People feel overwhelmed, under-appreciated and experience life as a rut, rather than an exciting and fascinating journey. It is no wonder that depression is growing quickly in the Western world. And so we are looking for change in a big way. How many people do you know, who jump out of bed in the morning, excited about their life, their work and eager to tackle both with joy and passion? Those living a life of passion and joy are coming from a place of authenticity from deep within themselves. Nobody can rattle their cage. They walk their talk and others are drawn to the positive vibes exuded by those who are authentic. They have discovered the secret; they got a GRIP on their Authentic Self.

 

Those searching for meaning and joy in their life recognize it is time to stop the rat race, take time out, see and decide what it is they really want to do with their own life. What people are you drawn to and why? Let see what it is they have and do that you admire and wish you had? Going through this process allows for clarity in our own mind. It gives us permission to see what our authentic self really desires. Surprising to most of us would be to recognize that we already have many wonderful talents and gifts, yet we tend to focus on only what is lacking in our lives and within ourselves. Years ago, I read a little booklet “As a man thinkest, he is”. I learned that what we think about the most will be attracted into our life experience. If we focus on what we don’t have and what we don’t like about ourselves, we attract that or similar experiences into our life journey. To break this vicious circle and to change the direction of our life journey we have to change they way we think and talk to ourselves. Easier said then done, I may add, because most of us have been trained early on in life, not to be egotistical, not to show off, and not to talk about ourselves. As the years past, we became used to the idea that “nice” people don’t show off and who doesn’t want to be seen as nice. In the process however, we have learned to see and recognize those characteristics and behaviours that need improvement. What about all the wonderful characteristics we already have, why not focus on those? Too simply we think. It cannot be that simple and it is not. This process takes some work, a willingness to learn and an eagerness to make some changes that only we can make for ourselves.

 

Remember this simple bit of wisdom: “Whatever I have in my life today, I have created the environment for it, myself. I have given it permission to be in my life”. Looking at my life and not liking some of what I see, could be a reason to berate myself, or an opportunity to recognize that I can change it and create what it is I really want. Each and every one of us has been blessed with gifts and talents. Though not one of us is perfect, yet our authentic self is absolutely wonderful. Knowing that life is a journey, as is success, it is up to each of us to determine the road we travel on this journey. We can blame our circumstances, bemoan our situations or we can Get A GRIP and live the life we truly desire. For those ready to “Get A GRIP” on their authentic self, take advantage of a special offer only available to the readers of the Women With Vision magazine: one copy of the book, including shipping and handling only $ 20., a saving of $ 5.00 for you the visionary reader. Call today, to reserve your autographed copy, today.